therapeutic life coaching Yorkshire
Welcome Wilma Crosby Burniston PG Dip ICF
About Me
Perhaps this is the most visited section for those seeking a coach. Finding someone who has experienced the vagaries of life and particular difficulties means they have personal experiences that may echo yours. But most lives are multifaceted, mine certainly has been.
I was fortunate to have two careers I loved, one in theatre marketing and one in charity fundraising. I was able to travel frequently and dipped into some extraordinary cultures but also enjoyed the marguerites on the Costas. But I found myself feeling much of my life was superficial, and this became darker until one day I broke down and knew something had to change. I was tired of the annual repetition of events heralding the passage of time. I gave my notice in at work with the intention of training as a therapist. Then began my decade of darkness.
A phone call summoned me to my brother’s hospital bed in Palma where he lived. He had had a pulmonary embolism and was on life support. Entering the apartment of someone you love where there is all the evidence they intend to return is truly heartbreaking. He lived alone and the remnants of the dinner setting for one remained on the table. His friends were wonderful characters who supported me with lifts to hospital, gin and tonics and food parcels.
But the day came when through a translator I had to make a decision about turning my brother’s life support off. I have never felt so alone and afraid of the enormity of a God like decision. I was fortunate that my darling goddaughter, without asking, came out to be with me. Just having someone arrive with a heart full of love, to hold me whilst I sobbed and to listen to my jumbled mess of sadness and fear was the greatest gift imaginable.
Therapeutic Life Coaching Yorkshire
And then began the legalities. I hadn’t realised how much I feared official paperwork, and in a foreign language. This is when aloneness and anxiety really took hold and my love of Spanish gin started to play a more sinister role.
I returned to England to find my Mother’s needs were more pressing, and now being the only child fell to me to deal with, so began the packing up and selling of the family home to move mum into accommodation with care. Another clearance evoking memories, more legalities and more gin.
In my personal life my marriage was also going through testing times. Our situation was complicated by extraneous circumstances and our once sparky love had become dominated by resentment.
When external events changed our situation to such a degree, I knew I could not remain and retain my sanity or sobriety. It felt as though I was cutting my arm off to save my life, but I filed for divorce.
More emotional pain, more legalities, more gin.
As I packed up my marital home all the happy times flooded me and I wondered what lay ahead as a divorcee on my own. Again my friends were wonderful but the darkness was really descending and the amount of gin was ascending. A pivotal moment was ending up in hospital from too much booze and pills and the Consultant closing her door, hugging me and saying nothing is worth this.
Therapeutic Life Coaching Yorkshire
I loved my new house, and began making it into a home, but mum’s health was failing. She moved into a care home near to me and so began the daily visits waiting for the inevitable. I managed to build up the biggest bar bill the home had ever known which is hardly a glowing reference.
After one particularly hard visit I walked home and poured the usual quadruple gin, sat down and started to sob. This prolonged period of loss and grief had truly broken me. But by the time I had finished the drink I realised there was nothing else in the world I could change apart from what was in that glass. I have never had another drink.
I am proud I was sober for mum’s beautiful and peaceful death and truly present in the grief. I then headed out to my spiritual home in India and came back to a changed life.
That was five years ago and since then I have immersed myself in a very different way of being. Throughout it all I have continued my coaching development, which is increasingly influenced by certain therapeutic practices and spirituality.
I find clients want time to be heard, to have someone to listen to what they are experiencing. Sometimes a gamut of emotion will emerge. That is human, but with time we can explore options, consider changes and the possible consequences. Suddenly there will be glimpses of new horizons and together I can help you move towards them.
Therapeutic Life Coaching Yorkshire
“Wilma used humour, which made the sessions very enjoyable even if discussing the more difficult topics. “
I have had Wilma as a coach for over a year now. The sessions have helped with focusing and taking the next steps in both my career and personal life. I currently work for an investment bank in the City of London.
I had previously been struggling to clear my thoughts and work out what to do to make the next step of moving away from one area of finance and transition into banking. Having weekly conversations helped as Wilma takes the approach of supporting you by asking you questions that help you think through what you are doing and to build smaller goals to reach your target.
She has a unique ability to understand a huge range of situations and be empathic of what you are going through as you try to work towards your new goals. I always felt happier coming off the calls, as well as having a clearer picture of the next steps.